Asking Forgiveness and Giving Forgiveness: A Biblical Teaching
Forgiveness is at the very heart of the Gospel. From Genesis to Revelation, God reveals His desire to reconcile man to Himself and to restore broken relationships among people. The Bible shows us both the necessity of asking for forgiveness and the call to extend forgiveness—to brothers, friends, and even enemies.
This teaching explores what Scripture says about:
- How many times to forgive.
- Whether forgiveness requires repentance.
- God’s forgiveness of man.
- The necessity of repentance.
- The Lord’s Prayer as the model of asking and giving forgiveness.
- The difference between God’s forgiveness and man’s forgiveness.
1. How Many Times Can You Forgive a Brother, Enemy, or Friend?
Forgiving Brothers and Friends
Matthew 18:21–22 – When Peter asked if forgiving seven times was enough, Jesus replied:
“I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.”
This means forgiveness has no limit. A believer’s heart must always be open to forgive.
Forgiving Enemies
Luke 6:27–28 – “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.”
Romans 12:19–21 – Instead of vengeance, believers are to overcome evil with good.
Forgiveness extends even to those who actively oppose or harm us.
2. Does Forgiveness Require Them to Ask First?
Conditional Forgiveness (For Reconciliation)
Luke 17:3–4 – “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him… even seven times in the day… you must forgive him.”
For restored fellowship, repentance is necessary. Forgiveness opens the door, but reconciliation requires acknowledgment of sin.
Unconditional Forgiveness (Heart Posture)
Mark 11:25 – “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you.”
Even if they never ask, the believer must release bitterness before God.
The Example of Jesus
Luke 23:34 – From the cross, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
Forgiveness is extended even toward the unrepentant, keeping the believer’s heart free from vengeance.
Conclusion:
- For reconciliation → repentance is required.
- For personal freedom before God → forgiveness must be offered unconditionally.
3. God’s Forgiveness of Man: How Many Times?
Unlimited Mercy
Psalm 103:10–12 – “He does not deal with us according to our sins… as far as the east is from the west.”
Micah 7:18–19 – God delights in steadfast love and casts sins into the depths of the sea.
Lamentations 3:22–23 – “His mercies are new every morning.”
God’s forgiveness is endless when we turn back to Him.
4. Can We Be Forgiven Without Repentance?
God’s Requirement of Repentance
1 John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us.”
Acts 3:19 – “Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out.”
Luke 13:3 – “Unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.”
Forgiveness is always available, but it is received only through repentance.
Warning Against Presumption
Hebrews 10:26–27 – “If we go on sinning deliberately… there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins.”
Proverbs 28:13 – “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”
Conclusion:
God always stands ready to forgive, but forgiveness is granted only when man repents.
5. The Lord’s Prayer and Repentance in Forgiveness
In the prayer Jesus taught His disciples, forgiveness and repentance are inseparable.
Matthew 6:12 – “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
Forgiveness here is two-directional:
- We ask God to forgive our sins (repentance required).
- We forgive others as a reflection of God’s mercy.
Jesus further emphasized in Matthew 6:14–15:
“If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
This shows that receiving God’s forgiveness is connected to extending forgiveness to others. A hardened heart unwilling to forgive contradicts the very grace it seeks.
6. Is God-to-Man Forgiveness the Same as Man-to-Man Forgiveness?
Similarities
- Ephesians 4:32 – “Forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
- Colossians 3:13 – “As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
Our forgiveness mirrors God’s—free, generous, and gracious.
Differences
- God’s forgiveness cancels sin’s penalty and restores relationship legally and spiritually. Requires repentance.
- Man’s forgiveness releases personal vengeance and bitterness. Reconciliation may require repentance (Luke 17:3–4).
Final Summary
- How many times? Unlimited (Matt. 18:22).
- Must they ask first? For reconciliation—yes. For heart freedom—no.
- God’s forgiveness of man? Limitless, but applied only through repentance.
- Without repentance? No forgiveness is granted, though God is always ready to forgive.
- Lord’s Prayer? Forgiveness flows both upward (asking God) and outward (forgiving others).
- God vs. man? Both flow from grace, but God’s forgiveness restores eternal standing, while ours reflects His mercy in daily relationships.
In short:
Forgiveness is unlimited. God requires repentance for forgiveness, but His readiness to forgive never ends. Man must forgive without limit, holding no bitterness, even if repentance is absent. Yet full reconciliation—in both divine and human relationships—comes only when repentance and forgiveness meet.